this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
