fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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