Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize