No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
