I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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