i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize