I just cut my nipple shaving
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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