We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
