My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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