So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
