His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
