We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
