Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
