Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
