hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
