I wannas sexs uuuuu
she looked like the before picture.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
