Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
