in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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