Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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