I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize