and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize