It's a beautiful day for a hangover
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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