he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
