It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
