A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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