yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
