Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden sheâs a âbloggerâ?
You need to go! Itâs a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they donât have a picket fence and family. Thatâs when your penis introduces himself
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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