When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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