you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You are a genius and a whore.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
