Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
