We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
