Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I believe in your delicious
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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