were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
