Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
