I should be sponsored by Trojan
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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