I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
