I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
