I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I AM VODKA MAN
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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