I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
