Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
