What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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