i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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