So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
