he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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