I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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