So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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