So drunk its hurt
Nicole vs. Life
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
