I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
