apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
