i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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