Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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