So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
