Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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