she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize
