Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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