let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
