went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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