found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
