just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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