I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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